Fun enjoyment

“Oh! I just realized, trails are a lot like life! I should write a story about that!” I said, thinking about what it would be like to brag about winning best in show in the Pulitzer writing competition. “Um, I think that one’s been done before,” Mom said. “Really?” I’d thought it was pretty clever, and it surprised me that somedog was smart enough to think of it first.

Freeze the day

She seemed determined not to notice that it wasn’t behaving like ground was supposed to behave at all. I guess the snot had had enough of her smugness, because suddenly it stole both of her legs at once and threw them toward the sky. Mom fell in that way where she hit all the parts of her body on both sides at once. She started to say a bad word each time she whacked another part on the floor, but interrupted herself with a new bad word when a different part smacked the hard snot.

Guardian Angel

“You mean to say you've been leading me into mortal peril this whole time without telling me?” “I guess. But angels or not, you can't not do something just because it's dangerous. If danger can find you anywhere, then you might as well try something epic. Otherwise you're bound to have a season-ending injury vacuuming or something, and where's the cool story in that?"

Mo’ miles, mo’ problems

“I’m not brave enough to be out in the wilderness without coffee. Wal*Mart is closed because of the holiday, so I’ll have to drink gas station coffee tomorrow morning until we can buy a new stove.” I felt a little better. Mom hates it when things break, but it always makes her happy to go to Wal*Mart. Maybe a trip to Wal*Mart was just what she needed to heal the stove and her knee. 

Muffin top

I wanted to ask Mom more about pants that could turn people into muffins, but then I saw a group of ladies sitting in a spot where Mom would have made me pose for a picture if they had been home cooking turkey.

Independence

As we started hiking, a group of giggling and clucking flags flapped across the trail ahead of us.  “They’re not flags! They’re ladies!” I squealed, running ahead to introduce myself. 

Oopsy Daisy

"You see that scree?" Mom said, pointing her chin at the pile of rocks that definitely did not look like a trail now that I was looking at it from a distance. "I clung onto those rocks and climbed all the way to the top of that moraine before I finally spotted the trail!"

Kick glass

We tottered and stumbled through the maze of roads that all looked a lot like each other, and twisted up on themselves like they wanted to go nowhere. After awhile we found the trail, which looked a lot like the not-trail we’d been hiking on before.

Hot dog

Mom was just coming back from checking the woods for a better Wagon hiding spot when a pair of aggressive headlights pulled over from the other side of the road to get a better look at us.

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