I’m a conscientious, responsible dog. That’s why I’ve been staying up all night to protect the house from intruders. Never mind that Mom locks the dog door to the bathroom at night now. I still run around the house like my pants are on fire screaming my head off every time our neighbors’ people-puppy screeches until midnight. Why is a 4-year-old people-puppy still out playing in the yard after 10pm?!?! Suspicious activity indeed! And even when all is quiet in the dog bathroom, I still bark at my cat-sister every time she moves, just to keep my skills sharp. By the time Mom’s alarm went off, I was pretty drowsy from staying up all night keeping my family updated on the movements in the neighborhood.
Mom took me on a 5-mile patrol around My Trail, and I have to admit, I wasn’t as alert as I could have been because I only barked at one person (another man built like an upside-down TV – jerk! Go back to Best Buy where you came from!). I even passed the same unauthorized trail user twice without so much as a growl. So after working a double, I was really looking forward to a lazy Monday of napping to catch up on my sleep. But I didn’t expect NotMom to take the day off of work! For the rest of the day, every time I would start to doze off, NotMom would come over and pat me or call to me so I had to get up and move to a different room. By the time Mom came home, I was a zombie! My eyes kept rolling back in my head every time I lay down, and when she scratched my ears vigorously chanting my name over and over it hardly interrupted my dream state. I was starting to think that maybe they were doing it on purpose…
Finally, everyone went to bed and turned off the lights. I tried to stay up to guard the house, but I fell asleep and was zonked out the whole night. Thank goodness, when I woke up everyone was still alive and well. Hopefully, I won’t sleep through my watch again tonight… My lazy dog and cat-sisters are useless at protecting us!
–Oscar, whose job is never done