Mom didn’t have to work this morning, so she promised me days ago that we would sneak into a park at sunrise and run on the trails. She said if we got there early enough, she’d even let me off leash! So starting at 4am I hopped into bed and started kissing her face to wake her up. I aimed for the bloody bits because that would surely get her attention.
“Hey! It’s time to wake up!” I said.
“Oscar, go away,” Mom said.
“Hey, it’s almost sunrise.”
“Ach! In the mouth! Leave me alone!”
“Hey! We’re gonna be late…!”
Then Mom rolled over and I couldn’t reach her face anymore so I spent the next 2 hours trying to wake her up by slowly expanding until she was trying to sleep on a section of bed the size of a postage stamp.
By the time that lazy bag of bones got up, the sun was already rising and all we had time for was a short run around The Fart. I’ve really gotta get my own driver’s license…
–Oscar the Pooch