Interlopers

I have this bike trail near my house where I do most of my running. I call it My Trail because usually I’m the only dog on it at 5 in the morning. This morning I took Mom there for a short shake-out run. It rained last night, so maybe that’s why I smelled more pee mail than usual. But then I stopped for a poo and found someone else’s pile of poo right next to mine. Some slob hadn’t used a flush bag and had just left his business there. When we started running again, I saw an interloper! He looked like a miniature husky or something running his owner brazenly on My Trail with a big old smile on its little face. “HEY! What do you think you’re doing here!” I shouted at him. The cheeky bugger just ignored me and kept on running. I barked after him and tried to pull Mom in pursuit until she got upset too and barked at me to stop.

We ran another half mile, and there was another husky – a full sized one this time – just sitting there letting its person use her phone where the REAL trail users might want to run. “This isn’t your trail! You have no business here! You slipper-ripping son of a…” Mom had to get really worked up to get me to keep running as if we weren’t being invaded by resolution squatters.

I hate new years, because all these people who never used My Trail before appear out of nowhere and… occupy it! Just who do they think they are?! Mom (who would show a burglar where the treats are kept if they broke into the house) tried to tell me that these interlopers are trying to make themselves better and that we should welcome and support them. She said that if we are nice, they will keep coming back and become Friends who enjoy running just as much as us. She reminded me that as Mayor of the Trail, it was my job to welcome them and be a good role model. But I don’t like sharing one little bit. These squatters scatter pee messages all over the place, don’t pick up their poo after themselves and don’t know the rules of the trail (that I always have right of way).

-Oscar the Indignant Pooch

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