This morning at the Wetlands that Smell Like a Fart we started with the same old boring trail we always run on. But then, when we got to the far water fountain where we always turn around, we kept going. I always assumed the water fountain was the end of the world, but beyond was a whole new world!!! Suddenly I was inspired to keep up with my sister, who had been racing ever since the car. With 110 lb of magnificent beasts pulling her along, Mom ran effortlessly too. We could have kept going forever, but eventually Mom was a responsible captain and turned us around before we hit the North Pole or something. Running the same trail backward was like a whole new trail too!
With 10 miles already rolled out behind us, we hit the boring everyday Farty bit again. ‘Forget it,’ I decided and dropped back to run only as fast as I absolutely had to. Bodie was still up ahead keeping the leashes from tangling, so Mom was happy. With a mile and a half to go we saw a rainbow, which I don’t see what the big deal is because Mom says I’m “colorblind,” but it seemed to please Mom. Then Bodie started to flag. And then I had to pee, and we all had to stop. Then the leashes got hopelessly tangled around Mom’s legs, and the sky darkened with her mood. “Can’t we hold it together for one more mile?” Mom begged as she unraveled leg from leash and leash from headphones.
With 3/4 of a mile to go, Bodie said, “Hang on, I gotta poo…”
“Can’t you hold it t till…” but it was too late. Then an old nosey person walked by, staring at us. So even though Bodie was in the weeds off the trail, Mom had to pick it up, which she hates because she gets freaked out by the poo sack smacking her wrist as she runs. That was it. It was at that moment that the skies opened up and it started pouring.
“Now you’ve done it!” I told Bodie.
“What? It was an emergency.”
“But haven’t you noticed that every time she’s pissed off it’s raining?”
“I thought that was because the rain makes her grouchy…”
“Oh, no. I’m pretty sure it’s the other way around. When we make her grumpy, she punishes us by making us run in the rain.”
“You’re right. She was so happy when the sun was out earlier…”
We both looked at Mom with a new respect. And wouldn’t you know it, when we were sitting quietly in the car, she calmed down and the rain stopped.
–Oscar the Raindog