Mom mostly stays in one place and isn't very interesting to watch, so I've been patrolling the office and getting to know the rest of my pack better. They don't all have doggie telepathy like Mom and me, so I have to speak real simply and slowly to them so they'll understand.
We drove to a dark that smelled like the ocean, sounded like waves, and felt like sand. Then Mom let me off the leash. Behind us in The City there were lights, and cars, and people, and all the human things, but here on the sand there was only dark and the invisible ocean going on and on forever. I ran around in big circles until I heard Mom calling my name, then I ran back to check on her before she let me run more circles through the deep sand and waves.
...and my favorite: Meetings! Meetings are when everybody gets together in one room to let one person show off their barking while everyone else looks bored and watches jealously as I make the rounds and my collies take turns scratching my butt.
Because I'm a marathong coach, I know a loser's attitude when I hear one. I hadn't even had a chance to get bored and fall asleep yet. She jumped back on the dreadmill and ran another couple of steps, but it still sounded wrong, like the lub-dub in Mom's chest instead of her regular feet beat. After only a couple of seconds she stopped the dragon inside the dreadmill from roaring and sat on our bed. "I think it's really hurt," she said.
"I know that bridge!" I said. "Bodie lives on the other side of it!" "No, you're thinking of the Golden Gate Bridge," Mom said. "This is the Bay Bridge." "What the heck are you talking about?" I asked. "I recognize it." Mom can be so think sometimes. 'Tourist,' Mom muttered.
Later, Mom explained to me that if anybody asked me what it was like to work in the City, that I should tell them, "It's like trying to hold it all together while balancing on one foot in high heels with a handful of dog doo."
An important thing for any job is that the boss-person be a good leader. My boss-man is a great leader because he brought turkey jerky to our meeting, and immediately he had my undivided attention. I was inspired to do anything he asked me to do. "You are a very handsome man," I told him, laying my head in his lap. "I find you irresistible..." I went on.
I wasn't so sure about letting so many people besides Mom order me around, but Mom explained that when you start at your first job it's kind of like everyone is your boss and you have to do what they all say. And Mom was right! I met so many new Oscar fans who gave me pats and butt scratches that sometimes I couldn't give them all the attention that they wanted. Work is stressful!
I looked at Mom's weird boxy body that's flat in all the places where humans are sometimes curvy, and then I looked at my sleek, athletic frame that was black, but not blobby at all. "Well I don't have any boobies, and neither do you," I said. "And if one of us is going to chase contaminated critters, it should be the one of us that is up to date on his flea meds, don't you think?"