"I know that bridge!" I said. "Bodie lives on the other side of it!" "No, you're thinking of the Golden Gate Bridge," Mom said. "This is the Bay Bridge." "What the heck are you talking about?" I asked. "I recognize it." Mom can be so think sometimes. 'Tourist,' Mom muttered.
Later, Mom explained to me that if anybody asked me what it was like to work in the City, that I should tell them, "It's like trying to hold it all together while balancing on one foot in high heels with a handful of dog doo."
An important thing for any job is that the boss-person be a good leader. My boss-man is a great leader because he brought turkey jerky to our meeting, and immediately he had my undivided attention. I was inspired to do anything he asked me to do. "You are a very handsome man," I told him, laying my head in his lap. "I find you irresistible..." I went on.
I wasn't so sure about letting so many people besides Mom order me around, but Mom explained that when you start at your first job it's kind of like everyone is your boss and you have to do what they all say. And Mom was right! I met so many new Oscar fans who gave me pats and butt scratches that sometimes I couldn't give them all the attention that they wanted. Work is stressful!
I looked at Mom's weird boxy body that's flat in all the places where humans are sometimes curvy, and then I looked at my sleek, athletic frame that was black, but not blobby at all. "Well I don't have any boobies, and neither do you," I said. "And if one of us is going to chase contaminated critters, it should be the one of us that is up to date on his flea meds, don't you think?"
In addition to the dozens of portraits of me Mom has been taking every day, she has also been taking video so that she can relive the experience in even more detail when we get home. Usually I love taking video because it means that Mom gets me very excited, and then we run back and forth while she laughs and tells me that I’m ruining it. But this time she was taking too long, and was too focused on The Witch, so it was an opportunity for a teachable moment. While she was picking moss off a log, I ran into the woods to chase An Exciting Thing. Because she didn’t yell at me right away, I kept running and running until I was very absorbed in The Exciting Thing and Mom seemed like a distant memory.
So I welcomed Oreo and Buddy out of the car with friendly butt sniffs and showed them my neighborhood. "Make sure to smell this spot right here where Dan the neighbor-cat pees," I told them. Then I heard something in the trees, "Look!" I said. "A squirrel. Do you guys have squirrels where you live?"
Some days just... suck. Mom had promised me that we would run into the office, and then I could be a business dog. She said that I definitely couldn't stay home, because she wanted to leave out an edible present for the Man Who Brings Me Cheese, and I couldn't be trusted to be alone... Continue Reading →
It is still so cold here. This morning the house was so cold while we were getting ready that I couldn't even be bothered to leave my blanket-nest to beg for some of Mom's hard boiled egg. I made her bring it to me. Mom got me a new running harness because reflective stuff covered... Continue Reading →