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Wyoming? More like Whine-yoming

It looked like there had been a battle royale of foul weather right before we got there, with the wind and the white dirt fighting for dominance over the mountains. To Mom’s delight, it seemed like the wind had won.

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Burn

in front of us the mountains were bare and covered in dirt, with a few graveyards of bone-trees sticking out of the hillside like thorns. We walked for miles through the tree graveyard, and it was kind of spooky, but pretty too, like a Tim Burton movie with the lights turned on.

Snakeboarders

"IF YOU COME NEAR US I'LL BARK AT YOU SO HARD YOU WON'T KNOW WHAT HIT YOU!" I was so scary that all the people on the I'mbarkadero shrunk closer to the buildings to give me enough room to beat the monster up if I needed to.

Hashtag Throwback Thursday

That's why I was still tied to Mom when we came around Creature Corner, where I have met a lion, a wolf-dog, and too many bunny rabbits to count. This morning there was a new creature flumping across the path. It was a horseshoe-crab-shaped ball of fur that moved like a land sting ray. "STRIPEY STINK-CAT!" I barked.

Manscaping

Today there were runners just like always, but the stray humans were awake, and the workers had been replaced with tourists waiting for the boat to Alcatraz and asking each other if the bridge was being painted. The tourists lined up across the sidewalk like bowling pins for me to run through them and cause selfies they would never forget.

Untouchable

Mom said, "DON'T!!!" and Karen froze. Then she stood up and walked right over to the sink and started washing her hands. I didn't know what happened, but it made me feel very lonely to have my friend Karen treat me like she didn't even know me all of a sudden.

Wagon mishap

Finally, with a giant heave, Mom pulled on the door with all of her might. She pulled so hard that she pulled the door right off of the Covered Wagon. "Dog doo!" she said, standing stunned and holding the heavy door so that it wouldn't bump into the car next to it.

City dog, mountain dog

She made me a little nervous, so I was asserting my dominance. Just like they tell you to wave your arms an look as big as possible when you see a mountain lion so they won't come any closer, I was trying to make that woman see that I was the bigger beast and I wasn't scared of her."

Drought

Every year the mom-soon season overstays its welcome, and when we complain about all the rain and ruined hikes, dimwits who never play outside and get all their weather information from the internet say, "But we need the rain! It's a drought."

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