Some races you can’t wait to finish because of the relief when it’s all over. But sometimes it’s better to keep the mom-entum because if you stop you might never get started again.
No one ever achieved enlightenment in the rain, so just like all the prophets before us, we would need to travel all the way to the desert to seek enlightenment.
"What an adorable running partner," said the lady.
"Aw, you're so nice to say so, but she's really only a 5," I said.
"Thanks, I think so too," said the 5.
"Ooooooh. She was talking to you," said the 10.
We ran 5 miles up and down the dooms. Then we ran through trees that grew right out of deep sand. Then we ran on the beach. And when we left the beach we ran through the grass, which only lives in deep, deep sand. Everywhere we ran it was sand, sand, sand! Have you ever run in sand before?
“How do I be encouraging without pressuring her... just in case she’s the kind of person who barfs?” I asked. I know all about barfing before the finish line because that's what Mom used to do when she was excited and messed up her pacing.
“How about just 'Go'?” Mom said.
“Yeah! That’s good! Use two of them!"
It is a tradition for four-legged runners to wear face socks in the start and finish area. Mom says it's not nice to criticize other cultures, but I don't think it's nice to humiliate anyone or hold their mouths shut. How are you supposed to do fun things like bark, eat the chips that Mom is sharing for breakfast, or lick the legs of strangers when you're wearing a face sock? Everywhere I looked there were four-legged runners smooshing their faces on the ground or punching themselves in the nose trying to get the face socks off.
"What's an obstaple?" I asked.
"I don't know. Like crawling through mud and jumping over stuff and things. I didn't really read the website that closely. You'll love it. I brought treats."
Now I was real excited to do obstaple racing and show off how good I am at getting dirty and looking cool in pictures. But I guess Mom didn't read the website closely at all because she found out that the humans had to do the obstaples too.
"Oh, well I can't do that," Mom told the lady with the t-shirts. "I have a medical issue."
"Mom, what's a medical issue?" I asked.
"It means that I'm wearing socks," she said.
The best way to cheer is to stand by the side of the road, and then sprint out onto the course when you see your dad run by. That way you can bark at the top of your lungs how proud you are of him, and you can also clothesline a few other runners with your leash. If you do a good job they will trip and die, and your dad will be more likely to win. That's called being supportive.
"How can you drink out of the wrong water fountain? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Weren't you listening earlier...?! There's no apartheid at the dog beach."