The mountains in Washington are steep in a way that I think might be illegal in California, because I’ve never climbed anything in California that’s as steep for as long as everything I’ve climbed in Washington. Our first hike in Washington was supposed to be an easy one. It was less than 10 miles long,... Continue Reading →
Mom says that she lived in California for many years without ever smelling smoke in the Stuck House places. But for as long as I've been a man-dog there have been a few days or weeks every summer when the world disappears and everything smells like camping. Come to think of it, one of those... Continue Reading →
"Haha, you stupid fool. The trail is that way!" The Witch said, pointing across the steep ravine that the river had dug into the hill. I looked at the crack in the mountain with the river at the bottom, and then I looked up all the steep loose rocks on the slope at the other side and got ready for Mom to yell a lot.
"What an adorable running partner," said the lady. "Aw, you're so nice to say so, but she's really only a 5," I said. "Thanks, I think so too," said the 5. "Ooooooh. She was talking to you," said the 10.
I smelled some delicious potato chips hiking up the trail ahead of me. Potato chips sounded like a perfect breakfast. But when I found the potato chips, they were in the paw of a giant turtle-person. “Drop those potato chips and no one gets yelled at!” I barked.
Mom and I listened to stories about the real-life bandits and stagecoaches of the Old West. “Mom, we’ve been to a lot of these places!” I said, astonished. “Some of them were so small that their gas stations didn’t even have Perrier or string cheese! How could a place be famous and forgotten?”
“See the rabbit ears?” "Where?!" I asked, looking around and then following the line of her arm. I looked up, up, up so high that it hurt my neck, and at the very tallest part of the mountain I saw two steep potatoes of rock that sprouted up higher than the rest. “Is he behind those ear-shaped rocks?” I panted.
“You are so handsome!” Willy told me, when she saw how nice the flowers looked with me sitting on them. “You’ve really got a talent for this hiking thing,” I told her. “There are people who hike for years without ever noticing how handsome I am.”
From way up in the sky the lake looked like it wasn’t deep at all, and that a brave dog could walk all the way across if he didn’t mind getting his socks wet. But now that we were at the edge of it, I could look into the calm grey water and see that it was very, very deep, and that the tiny islands that barely poked their noses out of the surface were actually very tall rocks standing up from a bottom so deep that I couldn’t see it under all that glowing grey water.
And with that she started boot scooting down the trail. Then, something changed and instead of scooting one buttstep at a time Mom was sliding smoothly. “This rock that’s wedged in my butt crack… “It’s sliding quite nicely on this layer of snow on these rocks.” "I always wondered what that slot in human butts was for!"