A dog with a blog
“Hang on, this morning you wanted to go 10 miles today, but you were frustrated because the trail was too short. And now we’ve gone 10 miles and you’re upset because the trail is too long? Your game is definitely a lousy one if you lose even when you reach the goal…”
A little while later the Mad River waited until Mom and I were separated and ambushed me. I had run ahead because of Excitement, and Mom was still around a bend behind me when the river said, “Aren’t you thirsty, Oscar? I’m so cool and I taste so good! Come stand on this bed of soft pine needles and drink from me while you wait for Mom…” That sounded like a great idea, so I walked out onto the bed of pine needles that was sitting at the edge of the river… and fell right in!
In addition to the dozens of portraits of me Mom has been taking every day, she has also been taking video so that she can relive the experience in even more detail when we get home. Usually I love taking video because it means that Mom gets me very excited, and then we run back and forth while she laughs and tells me that I’m ruining it. But this time she was taking too long, and was too focused on The Witch, so it was an opportunity for a teachable moment. While she was picking moss off a log, I ran into the woods to chase An Exciting Thing. Because she didn’t yell at me right away, I kept running and running until I was very absorbed in The Exciting Thing and Mom seemed like a distant memory.
The trail we found was one of the most beautiful trails that we’ve ever run. Mom is the kind of person who rarely leaves positive reviews, but this trail was so great that it inspired Mom to leave a Six Star review on Alltrails, which is like the human version of leaving pee mail on your walk. I told her that she should start her review with “Wowie zowie,” but I guess that’s an expression that is very professional for dogs to say, but sounds different to humans.
You see, Mom’s allergic to clouds, and when it’s overcast or rainy she goes a little cuckoo. “I didn’t like that river, Oscar,” she said. “Something bad could have happened there and now I’m spooked. I want to get out of here…"
When you watch me run, it feels like there should be exciting trumpets playing in the background. Lately when Mom runs like a tuba sounds. But not today.
If there’s one thing that will guarantee that Mom will commit to doing something hard is if someone nicer and more cheerful than her says that they are going to do it too. It’s okay to be outperformed by a jerk, but if Mom gives up before someone with the personality of a marshmallow, she couldn’t look herself in the eye in the morning.
If there were a beauty contest for trails, this one wouldn’t even make it to the semifinal round, but the thing about nature is that there isn’t just eye beauty, there’s also leg beauty. Some of the trails with epic views and incredible colors and smells are so boring and monotonous for your legs.
“Now that I’ve got 1,000 ticks on me, it’s not like another 1,000 is going to make a difference. Let’s keep exploring.”
This morning Mom and I went to the same old boring Fart that we always go to. As is our routine, Mom wasn’t allowed to run until I had sniffed everything around the gate thoroughly, which always makes her impatient. "Come on Oscar!" Mom said. "I want to start before that gaggle of ladies takes... Continue Reading →