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My own private outside

Usually we can't even go to this trail on the weekend because there's no time to run between all the jumping into the poison oak whenever a bike rides by. But this year Mom has only gotten poison oak one time.

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The Pounding Fathers

It must be tough running with the weight of hundreds of miles on their backs when they didn't even know what the next mile held yet. But then I remembered how Mom finds her way around places we'd never been before. Maybe humans can see the future better than dogs can, and that's why they like planning so much.

Let’s see where this path goes

“Are you kidding me? Now that I’m a sophisticated man-dog and have seen the mountains and deserts of 9 states, I have more to say than ever,” I told her. "The more you've seen, the more there is to notice. The first time you see something, it's like a photo. But when you see the same things over and over, the differences unroll like a movie." 

Untouchable

Mom said, "DON'T!!!" and Karen froze. Then she stood up and walked right over to the sink and started washing her hands. I didn't know what happened, but it made me feel very lonely to have my friend Karen treat me like she didn't even know me all of a sudden.

The Best Dog

"What was that lady's problem?" I asked Mom. "I think you startled her with your barking," Mom said. "SHE startled ME with HER barking!" I said. "It's true, she should have been paying attention. She was a bit of a dingbat, wasn't she?" "You think SHE was a dingbat? Did you see her dog?!" 

When to run, and when to RRRUUUUUN!!!

I could smell something big, and there were recent tracks in the snow that looked like deer hooves, but were way bigger than any deer’s feet I’d ever seen. I remembered about the flying tampon last night, and the mystery of all the big things on top of the mountain yesterday, and concluded that there must be all kinds of giant things roaming in these hills.

People math

“Hang on, this morning you wanted to go 10 miles today, but you were frustrated because the trail was too short. And now we’ve gone 10 miles and you’re upset because the trail is too long? Your game is definitely a lousy one if you lose even when you reach the goal…”

Aging

She's also doing real embarrassing things like trying to lift me on and off the bed, which makes me feel less manly. When I see her coming I try to sit like an octopus with legs everywhere so that I have no handles.

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